The Devil Made Me Do It!

Yesterday I went to the gym and had a great workout! Went to a dance class and the teacher was AMAZING! His name was T.J. and seriously he just needs to teach all the classes at that location. His enthusiasm was just infectious! I left the class feeling really good, was ready to have a nice walk home get another little extra workout in when I got a craving. I REALLY wanted to have a grill cheese sandwich for lunch. I had the cheese and bread but I was missing butter. I stopped into the pharmacy store went up and down aisles, checked out some Christmas things and finally picked up the butter. I was just about to head to the cash when something caught my eye. There was a big sale sign with Halloween chocolate underneath. Normally it's just lollipops and chewy candy left over, this was not the case.

My eyes widened as I saw 7 boxes of M&M's 50 pieces of plain & peanut in each for $1.00 !!!! Couldn't believe it! Someone in a suit walked in front of me and grabbed 4 boxes!! I panicked and told myself NO, NO what would I do with that much? Would I be able to control myself and only eat the chocolate on designated cheat days? A woman reached out and grabbed 1 box so now there were only 2 LEFT! F*CK!!! Now I'm panicking! I knew I would hate myself later for passing on such a deal but I would also hate myself if I opened the boxes and started going through all 50 pieces while watching the Biggest Loser !  And I KNOW, I have a problem with chocolates etc but I'm pretty confident that my family and friends wouldn't let it get this far.....

What can I say I'm a sucker for a really good deal! I haven't opened them YET........

Are you ready for children?

Was looking for jokes when I came across this question:


Are You Ready for Children?

Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego's. (If Lego's are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.)

Grocery Store Test: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.


My thoughts.....

1) The only mess I want to deal with is the leftover cartons of Chinese food and the stray M&M that may have fallen behind my pillow cushions (which lets face it friends how likely is it I would have a stray M&M?).

2) The only thing I want to trip over are my shoes and then I want to be able to yell 'what the f*ck you piece of sh*t'  LOUDLY if I happen to trip over them.

3) As for the grocery store I'd like to think I wouldn't be that dumb parent who is so terrified their child will have a tantrum, that they rip open bags of food in the store so their child will shut their trap while mommy decides if she wants yogurt with or without aspartame (btw f*ck aspartame anything with it tastes like a**).



I'm not ready.

Will these treats find my a** or thighs first?

While on a certain social networking site this week I came across a recipe for Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Dip. SAY WHAT? Yeah that's right CHOCOLATE CHIP CHEESECAKE DIP-f*cking great right? My taste buds were on full alert but my lazy legs still haven't made it to the store to purchase the ingredients. Here's a link to the site for those of you brave enough to indulge:

http://newtoveggieworld.wordpress.com/2011/10/06/chocolate-chip-cheesecake-dip/

And then because I just wanted to torture myself, I started to look for other sweets to reek havoc on my supermodel body. Nutella cheesecake anyone?

http://www.dacor.com/The-Dacor-Kitchen/Recipes/Desserts/Creamy-Nutella-Cheesecake.aspx

You do realize that I'm hoping one of you will make one or both of these yummy straight to the a** & thighs treats that I will just HAVE to 'sample'.

Fall

Doesn't it seem like the summer went by so quickly? Can't believe we are now into our second day of Fall which so happens to by my fav season!

So I purchased a Tivoli artisanal black coffee table from Pottery Barn last week and now need to change my TV Stand and TV. I've been meaning to get a new TV for ages but have been dragging my ass.

Here is the coffee table:

There was no way I was willing to pay for the media stand that goes with this table so I'm thinking about this one:

Thoughts? I already have the seal of approval from one friend but dear old roommate of mine AKA Girl With A Pink Toolbelt what are your thoughts? Like or suggest anything else? This Hemnes table from Ikea has been the best one I've seen so far! Should I even go with the same colour....ughhhh where is Nate Berkus when you need him? 

You say ass, I say Vagina!

I'm sure one day I'll end up getting sucked into my iphone, but until that day comes THIS is what I had to look at this week:

I truly hope you can zoom in friends and make this picture bigger because what you are looking at is a woman with TWO VAGINAS!! That's right TWO VAGINAS!! I thought surely my fascination with my phone has distorted my vision but I assure you it hasn't. I wonder if she turned around and looked at herself in the mirror and thought to herself, "mmmmm yes my Backgina is looking quite sexy in these pants".

Lazy Day

Hello friends!!! I spent this lovely Labour Day on my couch. Ok I did go outside this morning to hit the gym for a workout. I watched the Nate Berkus show while working out, just LOVE him.  He is just so delicious! I don't really get to watch a whole show just bits and pieces as I always forget what time he's on! He definitely motivates me to want to get my ass up and decorate my apartment. I still need to put pictures on my wall and curtains or blinds in my living room. How sad is that? I won't even tell you how long I've been living in this apartment! I'm currently on the hunt for a new media stand and coffee table. I had one picked out from Pottery Barn and had placed it in my 'online basket' but when I went to check on it today the effing thing doubled in price! The search continues. I know some friends go antiquing or pick up things from goodwill and while I've seen good things there, I have to tell you I'm kind of freaked out about buying things that other people have used. Yes I've probably watched one too many horror movies because I'm scared that I'll pick up this used furniture and the evil spirit of the former owner will come into my home. I've said it before and I'll said it again, yes I need therapy.

Fight Night

So I got into a fight tonight. It was purely mental but still. I walked into the corner store and watched a customer treat the cashier like sh*t. The cashier wasn't sure which cigarettes the customer was talking about, the customer was giving him attitude and when he opened his wallet to pay he dropped some of his cards. The customer behind him pointed this out and he just waved him off-DOUCHE! After paying, the cashier asked him something and the customer said 'it's in your best interest I don't answer any of your questions, so I'm ignoring you'..what a LOSER! So if I was a REAL bada** this is how sh*t would have gone down....

in my version the customer doesn't say a thing but just listens to me talk sh*t...

hey buddy stop being an a**hole, what you need to do is go and find a pair of pants that aren't so damn tight I can see your p*nis from over here and it doesn't look like you have much to work with, it's nice that you have a picture of your girlfriend in your wallet it really is, but the only thing she probably does is suck your d*ck because the rest of the time she's busy banging your best friend who has got to be better looking than your ugly a** I've seen dog sh*t that looks better than you, now I don't want to cause any trouble and you certainly don't want to start sh*t with me, I have a couple of friends who are cops and another friend whose dad is a high profile lawyer so turn around and walk the f*ck out of here because I can smell your p*ssy from over here.



I apologize that was filthy and HORRIBLE really HORRIBLE of me to say what decent woman thinks or speaks like that ?!?!?! Forgive me.

I'll start looking for a therapist tomorrow.....